And another round of „Whens“

20150819_213038When you reach that point of time in the year when you can’t take pastel colours anymore and desperately reach for the black nailpolish. I absolutely love flowery summer clothes with black nailpolish! And as long as the sun is still coming out every now and then, I refuse to wear pullovers.

When you receive a postcard with a delightful stamp… Thank you, friend, who send the card, and thank you, Tom of Finland! You made lots of gay men happy with your art and lots of women, too! And thank you, Finland, for putting his pictures on stamps. Your turn, Germany.When you’ve finished your coffee but haven’t even touched the rest of your breakfast because the internet kept you busy…

When strange people follow you on Twitter and you’re inclined to assume that they’re either prostitutes working for porn sites („PM me! Meet me!“) or bots or porn bots…

When you put the telephone in the fridge after you’ve spoken to your BFF while preparing dinner… Studying day after day, month after month, really screwed up my brain. Ooooor… when you open the window and are about to throw your dinner plate out of it instead of opening your door to walk to the kitchen… Yes, that actually happened. For realsies.

When the temperature drops below 5°C and you start reminiscing about the wonderful days of winter when you don’t have to shave your legs anymore because you’re wearing long pants all the time.

When you publicly prove someone wrong… and you can see on the faces of everyone else present that they enjoy schadenfreude just as much as you… ah, feels so good… And: In your face, bitch!

When  you give up sitting in front of your laptop during breakfast because you feel like you’ve literally seen everything on the internet. There’s nothing wrong with staring at your Kindle instead, right?! I mean, it’s much more comfortable to prop up my Kindle against my laptop than a book…

When you wonder whether people will think you’ve misused literally in the previous sentence although you intentionally used it. And when you realise that there are some things that you really shouldn’t overthink. Like why Finland has one N in English but is written with two Ns in German. And then you remember that, as a linguist, you’re actually able to explain why… I guess studying so hard actually paid off.

When you’re living thru the first-world-problem hell of not having any matching clothes… more specifically, not having a shawl that matches a black t-shirt and a cardigan with purple hibiscus flowers and light green palm trees on it. That’s a whole new level of imaginary crisis, right. Just like owning over 300 pairs of earrings but not having one single pair that would match your outfit. And then you’re forced to choose plain silver ones that make you look like you haven’t bothered at all about what you’re wearing. Or, option two, you change your whole outfit to match your favourite pair of earrings… Yes, women actually do that.

 

 

 

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